Like new vibrant life that springs from beneath the debris of defeat, God has produced the sweetest fruits from places of destruction and abandonment in me. A couple weeks ago we went into Cartago (a city a few miles away from where we were in Costa Rica… WE’RE IN SOUTH AFRICA NOW!) to practice evangelism, discipleship, and just to see what the Lord wanted us to do there. While we were walking and praying for everything and then some, we came across this BEAUTIFUL building that looked super old and empty, so of course I wanted to venture in. It turned out to be the remains of an old temple dedicated to an apostle that was constantly destroyed by earthquakes for years on end before they finally stopped trying to rebuild over 100 years ago. As I walked in under the huge stone opening I was sweetly surprised by the most vibrant colors and unique plant life flourishing in these ruins. There were gardens upon gardens, a flowing creek, swaying trees, and so many more signs of thriving life inside of what seemed to be an abandoned, forgotten, pile of remains over 100 years after it was given up on. God met me there that day.
Lately I have been running through this constant cycle of abandonment, brokenness, and dependance on God. He continues to call me to abandon more of myself and the things/people I clung so tightly to, I’m then broken and confused for a little while as I rediscover myself in him alone, and thus depend solely on him once again (which is when he tells me to let go of even more). This is the process that has been stretching and growing me in such incredible ways. My homesickness lasted way longer than I wanted or expected it to so for the first couple months I was asking God a lot of questions about what exactly he needed me to be here for that he could not have done in me at home. That’s when I realized how much I was NOT trusting him and relying on my feelings instead of what I know to be true to determine my outlook.
At this old church, with all of its life growing from ashes, God reminded me of all he’s brought me out of and how drastically he’s changed my life. The crumbled brick and rusting water faucet were the walls he broke down to get to me and the things I used to receive life from. He showed me that he had to tear down the walls I was building against him so that he could come inside and make it more beautiful than I could have myself and that he stopped that water faucet flow so that I could start drinking from the living water. A lot of great things in my life have come from some kind of brokenness or hurt at some point that God then turned around and used for his glory and my good. He tends to do that a lot. As I am stepping into this new season in South Africa I have a broader perspective on God’s timing and provision when I tend to lean on my own understanding instead of his. Thanks for checking in! I already have sooo much to tell about South Africa so get ready for an overload.
