YES, Lord

It’s all the little things… waking up to the sound of people laughing and singing and getting our breakfast ready, our kids at ministry learning how to return all of the I-love-you’s we hand out like candy, spontaneous worship sessions in the backyard (and dance party workouts with a strobe light in the living room), our ministry host taking us every single day to pray God-sized prayers over her friend with cancer and watching how faithful the Father has been to physically heal him more and more each day… ALL OF IT is what makes the world race what it is! The past couple weeks here have been indescribably sweet and rewarding but also a little impossible at times. 

There hasn’t been a single night I haven’t dreamt of my life back home and woken up on the verge of tears. Not having my family and closest friends or mentors to run to has been weird with a capital TOUGH. Learning to rely heavily and SOLELY on the Lord for all comfort and peace has been something of a new experience for me and I’m not exactly the quickest learner. I’m having to remind myself that he never calls us to be comfortable or feel safe but to follow him whatever that may look like. I got a new tattoo earlier this week (sorry dad) that says ναι, which is Greek for yes. TALK ABOUT A CONSTANT REMINDER AM I RIGHT!? I am fascinated with the deep meanings of the original languages of scripture as opposed to the English versions. This past summer I started a new thing where I would look up the original text of a verse when it stuck out to me and study the Greek/Hebrew translation. It was so eye opening learning and beginning to understand the message(s) the authors actually wanted to get across when writing God’s Word. One of the most prominent and attention-grabbing stories I looked farther into is the story of Peter stepping out of the boat and saying yes to Jesus when he told him to walk on the water. This story has always been such an inspiration and encouragement to me when thinking about stepping out of my boat and doing whatever seemingly impossible task the Lord has asked of me (speaking about him in front of thousands of students, allowing myself to lose the majority of my friends when it came down to picking between him or them, fundraising $16,000+ in a year to LEAVE MY COUNTRY FOR NINE MONTHS, etc.) Any who… ναι not only means yes in Greek, but more importantly “even though, nevertheless, or certainly.” EVEN THOUGH Peter was scared and unsure of the logistics or outcome of his step of faith… he said YES to Jesus. EVEN THOUGH I may not like the way it looks or sounds or when I am unknowing of how things will work out in the end or how the details might play out… I will say YES to him whatever he asks of me. I wouldn’t be where I am or have the faith that I do had I not said a risky yes every now and then. Not that I need a tattoo to remind myself that the Lord will use me in big ways when I let him but it’s more so a reminder of what he has done every time I do take a leap of faith and how much better life is when living with a yes in my spirit. 

Living in constant community has been a little rough but I am learning so much the more I press into them and let God use them to help mold me into the person he wants me to be. I go in the backyard to be alone with the Lord quite a bit but even then there are people all around me doing the same thing. The bathroom is the only place I am ever by myself and sometimes not even then HAHAHA. I never realized how much of an introvert I am until I got here and now its like I can’t function in groups for more than two hours a time. I feel like I’ve been here for such a long time and its only been (almost) three weeks! CRAZY! I’ve already seen and learned so much I am waiting so expectantly for what else the Father has in store for me.