Identity Thief

“The enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy but I have come so that you may have abundant life.” Father, thank you that you are a God of truth and love and that you want to see me be all that you have made me to be and nothing less. 

We had a session over identity the other night and one of the things they asked us to do was to write down labels and names that we had acquired over the years (from the world, ourselves, the enemy, etc.). It took me a while to get started but after the first stroke of the pen thoughts started flowing 100 mph. Words that I had never actually said out loud before popped into my head about who I am based on what I’ve done and where I’ve been. Labels, good and bad, that had been given to me in elementary-high school, church, home, friend groups, and elsewhere. Some I agreed with, some I did not, some about my physical appearance and abilities, others about my personality, unchosen circumstances, or mistakes. The point of this exercise was not to make us feel like crap but rather to highlight all of the titles we have been given over the years and to see how much of it has been lies from the enemy. We then proceeded to pray and ask God who HE says we are in Him, write them down, and realize the difference between our labels based on what we’ve done vs. those that come from His undeserved love. Up until this point in my life I have always just adjusted to the situation I’m in and who I’m around.

I’ve been:

an athlete

abandoned

not good enough

my brother’s little sister

a Jesus freak (still okay with this one)

a nerd

goody two shoes

forgotten

settled for

a try-hard

overlooked

the loud one

I AM: 

chosen

loved

valued

strong

brave

held

forgiven

joyful

impactful

driven

known

bold

seen

Being surrounded by a community that restlessly pushes me to be more like Christ and wants so badly to see me step into all that he created me to be is the biggest blessing. My teammates, leaders, and everyone else on the squad constantly push one another to their full potential. We are all each other’s biggest cheerleaders and it has been so cool to be immersed into the most positive environment I’ve ever known. With that being said, life is not all fun and games here. We do have fun and play countless games but the encouragement and cheerleading comes in the hard times. When someone is lethally homesick, wrestling with the Lord, feeling forgotten, or whatever else satan uses to distract us, SO MANY PEOPLE run to their side and offer whatever advice they have and then immediately take it to the Father and fiercely intercede through prayer. Stepping back and realizing I might not have known who I was before I got here is weird and a little unsettling but taking this opportunity to find myself completely in Christ alone is going to be the most important thing I’ve ever done (besides putting Him on the throne of my heart of course). 

When I’m at ministry and my kids are stretching my patience thinner than a wire, I stop and appreciate the fact that God is growing my patience. When someone and I disagree on something and my first instinct is to defend myself and insist that I’m right, I let the Lord be my defender and agree to disagree. This process of letting God mold me like clay is not, nor will it ever be, an overnight change, but giving Jesus the reigns and continually saying no to myself and YES to him is already reshaping me in places I didn’t know were bent. I’m a little embarrassed that I’ve let other people and forces steal my true identity for so long and, in the wise words of Dwight Schrute, “identity theft is not a joke.” Everyday brings new adventures and lessons that I will carry with me forever and I can’t imagine being anywhere else right now.