“I have decided to follow Jesus; no turning back, no turning back. The world behind me, the cross before me; no turning back, no turning back. Though none go with me, still I will follow; no turning back, no turning back. My cross I’ll carry, ’till I see Jesus; no turning back, no turning back.”
We sang this old hymn in my church a few weeks ago and WOW GOD thanks for the reminder. Senior year was anything but easy as far as my social life, faith, working two jobs, and fundraising was concerned (actual school was cake). As the year pressed on, the enemy pressed in, and I mean HARD. Each week came with new struggles and temptations as more and more of my friends became obsessed with looking just like the rest of the world and kinda ditched the whole “God thing” for the “cool things.” Every weekend brought more invitations to go party and be a high schooler and my never ending “nah I’m good” closely followed. Choosing Jesus was a daily decision and not always an easy one.
In a word, senior year was LONELY. Not just a movie-night-in lonely but more in the sense that I constantly felt ostracized and persecuted for living set apart. IN NO WAY AM I CLAIMING TO BE PERFECT, just pointing out GOD’S ability and faithfulness to keep my heart set on Him when surrounded by worldly things. This hymn talks about looking different than the rest of the world and the loneliness and trials that following Jesus ensues. The lyrics refer to John 12:25 and 26: “25 Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”
After every stanza, the song repeats “no turning back,” a much needed reminder and encouragement that Jesus is always WORTH IT! Every choice, every day, ALWAYS! Throughout my year, saying yes to Him never ended in regret, although not always easy, He proved over and over that His ways are better than any other and a life lived for Him is well worth the fight. It took some doubt on my end and His agape love for me to stop questioning His plans and my part in being His hands and feet here on earth in the race this coming year. Recently I’ve been reaffirmed constantly of the FIRE in my heart for missions and serving the least of these where the Good News has not yet reached. Training camp is in three weeks and launch is in just 2.5 short months! The excitement is getting so real and I absolutely cannot wait for others to know that JESUS. IS. WORTH. IT. and see His love change countless lives. Thanks for checking in on me and I’ll definitely be keeping y’all posted as launch draws nearer and this adventure begins!
